Sunday, December 24, 2006
Merry Christmas! Being in the Jewish state, in the Holy City, somehow inspired a group of us that we wanted to see what was happening for Christmas. The original talk of the group was to see what was happening in Bethlehem, where thousands of Christians used to make Pilgramige to see the birth place of Jesus. Unfortunately, Palestinian violence was started up again in the territories, so we all decided to stay closer to home. Anna and I met with about ten other students and one of my professors to celebrate Christmas Eve, or Watch Night, at St. Andrews Church of Scotland. In Jerusalem, which is 2% Christian, the large majority of "church-goers" on Christmas Eve are Jews who are getting their taste of Christianity. Before the service started, the minister came to talk to us about Christmas and the Church of Scotland. It was a very different experience having someone explain the practice of Christmas to us, instead of us explaining our rituals to her. It was a very straightforward service; carols interspersed with readings from the bible and two reflections (like sermons). We had a great time, enjoying the singing and the festive atmosphere.
While singing Christmas carols, I felt unsure about singing along. Not because I wasn't Christian, but because I felt like a tourist in someone else's faith. In my high school and college choirs I was often angry or bitter over Christmas carols, as if singing them were an insult to me. But tonight it was exactly the opposite, as though I might be ruining someone else's religious experience by my participation.
And that struck me too: I am no longer seeking religion. Maybe it seems a little obvious now that I'm studying to be clergy =), but for a long time I really didn't have a place. All of a sudden, here I am, in church, singing a song that for me is just a song, and being able to just enjoy myself because I know where my place is.
We had a lovely night, staying up past midnight with a few Christians to welcome in Christmas Day. Anna said to me as we walked home that although she never celebrated Christmas in her home, but rather celebrated with her family on Christmas night, she began to feel something missing as the day approached this year in Jerusalem. We've gone every year to her Aunt Theresa's house to celebrate Christmas, enjoying the warmth of family and the belly ache of too much delicious food. But this year we won't be joining. "I realized," Anna said, "that Christmas has become a ritual for me. And I'm happy that we were able to recognize it in some way. It was like home because I don't celebrate Christmas, but I like being with others while they do."
Happy Holidays!
